10/21/08

廿

廿,记得小时候第一次见这个字,只知道是二十的意思,并不知道它发什么音,而且常常是在那些古时候的文章里出现,所以大都略过,没有仔细关注。后来程老师说,这个字读nian,四声——我怀念程老师的声音,在老校大大的黄桷树下面,就着各种季节的味道,那声音里面关于宝黛的爱情,维特的烦恼,徐志摩的康桥,戴望舒的雨巷是我关于这世间种种无奈情愫的第一次启蒙,在初中时无忧无虑因此肆无忌惮的日子里如涟漪般散开来——当时就喜欢这个字,好像那会儿也特别喜欢类似发音的,像“念”,“年”,“碾”这些,都喜欢故意造些词语用到作文里,只是觉得读起来特别好听。

那个时候,好像才刚刚十二三岁吧,转眼间,自己就要正式地面对这个字了,该死的QQ,终于在我考试之前宣布了这个消息。时间是把刺刀,插在身上是痛,取出来也是痛。

那天,和L说,我们认识都七年多了,日子过得真的是很快;

那天,和C发牢骚,这都好些年了,你答应我的东西都欠了多少了;

那天,和ZM说,我报GRE的时候,19岁都还不到,这考完GRE,都20了;

好像日子越过越长,说话就越显得苍桑,不知道是不是自己的错觉,还是说我只是企图证明一些什么,用时间来衡量一切无法衡量的事情。到头来,唏嘘之间,才能猛然发觉一些事情真的很重要。

快要考试了,最后一次GRE,这该死的考试让我这一年里颇为恼火,很多年都不曾为做不对题哭过,上周居然哭过了三五次,都说不上是因为准备太久输不起,还是前途卜测孤注一掷;有些感慨这一年里的时光,很多事情都耽搁了下来,很多机会都放弃了不会再有,我不知道得到了什么——那天上泸江去测单词量,最后给个结果,说大约在12000,如果,这也算一种得到的话——其实很不值得,我应该好好地谈一场恋爱,好好地写一些文字,好好地听一些课程,好好地研究一些东西,抑或是任性地跑去和小C呆一段时间,或是和J一起回老城里看看,或是陪在我病重的爷爷 身边一段时间——有很多事情,慢慢的就变得没有时间和机会去做,机会成本,不只是一个经济学的概念。

11.23号,最后一次TOEFL,这个考试也让我很头疼,不知道是汉语说得太快的因而导致在英语不能达到相同语速的条件下,总是很害怕说出来的缘故,讲英语总是不如讲汉语来得得心应手,听英语也不如听汉语来得过耳难忘,总之,第一次TOEFL之后,我开始怀疑自己当初的决定,因为20岁的时候,人总该知道自己擅长什么,不擅长什么了。

昨天,和JL说一句话,听天由命的感觉,真让人难受。

其实是真的——向来,我没有对JL说过假话,但,有些误会到现在也不曾澄清。

有时间的时候,我会一如既往地总结自己的过去,当然,重点在后来。

廿,这个很早就认识的字,这一次重逢,千里他乡遇故知吗?

想给自己一些希望,于是想起同样是多年前背过的诗,食指的《相信未来》:

当蜘蛛网无情地查封了我的炉台
当灰烬的余烟叹息着贫困的悲哀
我依然固执地铺平失望的灰烬
用美丽的雪花写下:相信未来

当我的紫葡萄化为深秋的露水
当我的鲜花依偎在别人的情怀
我依然固执地用凝霜的枯藤
在凄凉的大地上写下:相信未来

我要用手指那涌向天边的排浪
我要用手掌那托住太阳的大海
摇曳着曙光那枝温暖漂亮的笔杆
用孩子的笔体写下:相信未来

我之所以坚定地相信未来
是我相信未来人们的眼睛
她有拨开历史风尘的睫毛
她有看透岁月篇章的瞳孔

不管人们对于我们腐烂的皮肉
那些迷途的惆怅、失败的苦痛
是寄予感动的热泪、深切的同情
还是给以轻蔑的微笑、辛辣的嘲讽

我坚信人们对于我们的脊骨
那无数次的探索、迷途、失败和成功
一定会给予热情、客观、公正的评定
是的,我焦急地等待着他们的评定

朋友,坚定地相信未来吧
相信不屈不挠的努力
相信战胜死亡的年轻
相信未来、热爱生命

 

仅以此寄予我二十岁即将来临之际。

 

——北落

dinghy

Oct. 21th, 2008

10/20/08

别来无恙

好久都没有在Space里面写字了,先是在Qzone里面写那些风花雪夜一样的句子,再后来就是越来越懒了。

今天和ZM一起吃饭,说到博客的事情——起因是我在找关于New Channel和Kaplan合作之后推出的iBT的培训是不是值得一试,找到一个在太傻上发帖的女孩子的帖子,然后跑到她在Blogbus的博客里留个了言,第二天就接到了回信, 女孩很热心地帮我解释了一些问题,PS,真的是很汗颜,高中生都考到了100多,偶却名半推半就地遭遇了惨案……——提到了上学期和SF,JL,金莲一群人一起做一个未果的项目时,曾从一位研究计量心理学的博士那儿得到的观点:基本上长期独自写字的人不大会是坏人。当ZM想要辨驳时,我无比神圣地说出了这句话的出处,于是,这厮开始边低头吃鸡,边咕哝:我也得去写一个博客……

ZM,KK还有好几个人都保研了,十一前看到那个保研的分数时,我科研那栏的0分似乎既是在印证我对自己性格的把握是如此精确,又在向我展示其实这边风景也好。给ZY发短信,说算是不保研了,他回了条: 你不本来就打算出国么?是啊,我本来也就是要打算出国的。从断然拒绝,到答应,到努力,到受挫,到再起,到现在,其间的种种真的是很难以用言语来描述。或许等我出国成功,或许等我功成名就,或许等我垂垂老矣,这些时光是怎么样地作用于我的生命方才是一道看得见的结局的风景。

平心而论,在不断的纠结与反思中,英语长进很大,至少学术文章已不是太大问题,GRE的题目也是越来越顺手,词汇的贯通在陈绮的带领下也有日渐精进的感觉,还有二十天不到的时光,最后成功还是失败,对我显得又重要又不那么重要。重要的是这是目前我考虑到的唯一的成长道路,不重要的是这个结果无论怎么样,我对自己都已无愧。倘若失败,只是觉得对不起爸爸妈妈和所有关心我的人们,这一次,这一年,我拼尽全力地去奋斗,倘若最后仍然疲惫地站在了你们的面前,请不要说我一无所有,请不要怪我两手空空……

C要去找工作了,这个永远都不会静下来好好看收,永远都只知道的把好看的手放在龌龊的鼠标上,把大大的眼睛放在电脑面前坏掉的人,还是要选择了一条大相径庭的路,结局从来都没有看清楚过——每每碰触到一些事情便没有了回信,逃得掉的么?J说明天就要再上重庆去了,这是个幸福的人,爸爸妈妈花了大力气置好了房子,虽然孒然一身,可倒底有靠脚的地方了,前些日子聊了很多过去的事情,心里面便泛起了对往年的故事无限的怀念之中,大大小小,渐次开来,J说他房子下面就是花市,我说那去卖花吧——我是一个恋旧的人,所有用过心的,都不愿丢掉,哪怕曾经有过怎样的生疏。ZY上周很诡异地打电话来,说他得了肾结石,外加可能糖尿病……于是很郁闷地宽慰了一翻,顺便提醒了他要注意一下ED的问题,当然后来的结果并不严重,糖尿病纯属子虚乌有,而肾结石也是喝水就好的问题,不过心里却是宽松了一下,除了家人,这是唯一的在我阴历生日那天发短信给我的人。

这几天,在别人的博客里听到的歌都已不熟悉,仿佛与这世界隔了很远的样子,猛然间翻了翻岁月这沓纸,灰尘扑面间大大的20已经赫然在目。那天看一个人的博客,写他在北京的风里看见一个老乞丐在风里面艰难地行走,就开始想这老人在年轻的时候倘若知道未来的某天他将如此痛苦地争扎着,那他是否还有生活的勇气与信心?——这事其实和算命一样,总归是怎么看的问题。看过Randy PauscCarnegie Mellon University上做的名为“Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”的演讲,心中满是感动。这个影响了整个世界的人,这个在癌症晚期还要给妻子浪漫生日的人,不仅仅connecting the computer science & the art的,更加向人们展示了人是如何面对死亡。他的PPT让我记忆犹深,从网上Down到他的原版PPT后,开始一起回味了他的童年的所有梦想,重要的不是梦想,而是如何实现梦想的……

 

dinghy

Oct. 7th,2009

10/20/08

托福作文第四练

When it comes to the issue that which filed should be supported by the company, the arts or the pro-evironmentenvironment, some people argues as if it is a gerneralgeneral turthtruth that the arts is more important than arts because it concern to human phycologypsychology. But to be frank, depending on my own experience and life, I hold the opioionopinion that for a company, it is better to protect evironmentenvironment rather than supporting arts, some primary reasons and evidence, including the advantages of environment protection in both heath and profits, will be explored as follows.

 

Firstly and formostforemost, the basic fact that nearly all the people, both in the corporation or not in the corporation, benefit from pro-evironmentenvironment suggest that  to protect evironmetenvironment would receive warmly welcome. For instance, according to a twenty years long research report, people working in and living around the companyscompanies, which pay attention to reduce pollutions, live 5 years longer than those living around or working in the firms who are not deal with the eviromentalenvironmental problems. Other examples includes Mr. Bruce, the grandfather of my classmate, who retired from a large company. Fortunately  the company do much for pollution reduction, as a consequence, MrMr. Bruce has good health no matter whether when he worked 10 hours a day sometimes before,  or when he are 90 years old and retired 40 years ago. In short , if to protect evironmentenvironment contributes people’s health and lives, why don’t they pay money for it?

 

Furthermore, the causes for my propensity for investigation in evironmentenvironment involve the profits because it is another way of advertisement. as discussed before, if people know not only what the company do, but also that all the measures are good for their own lives, it is easily to image that people would prefer the products coming from the company rather than any others when they do need the production. For example, the Xinxin corporationCorporation near my districtiondistrict, which mainly produce fast food, has receive enormous increasing profits since they decided to reduce the river pollution besides the factory. They find the interesting facts that when customers heard that they take measures to protect evironment ,evironment, customers would like to choose the food productedproduced by Xinxin factory. In short, to protect evironmentenvironment improve profits, as a result, it benefits  the company itself.

 

At last, I concede that the arts play certain important roles in people’s lives and office workshiprelationships. After all, a large amount of experience proves such standpoint. But the most important thing for a person is health and the thing which receive much attention in a company is profit, without them, arts would failed to work.

 

Finally, judging from all evidence offered, as both people working in and live around and the corporation itself benefit from evironmentenvironment protection, I may safely reach to my conclusion that to protect evironmentenvironment is superior to supporting arts for a company.

10/20/08

意识到后,推倒重来

这几天好好想了一下准备G以来的岁月,总结教训,以待未来。
最大的反思来自于对于G和T的认识。开始的认识总是太过肤浅,以至于总是会有通过这两门考试的准备来提升英语能力云云,实则差矣。固然准备的时候不能太功利,不能太急行,但说到底这东西只是两个考试,需要的是取悦ETS的能力,某种程度上和英语无关。
昨天上网看美国人谈GRE,"It depends on how the ETS think about it",才有如雷轰顶之感!
练习,重复,熟悉,高考的路子,考试的王道。
10/20/08

托福作文第三练:妈的,居然打错这么多

What are some important qualities of a good supervisor(boss)? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important?
 
记事本原稿:
 
What is the important merits for an excutive? Everyone is entitled on his own opinion. On my stance, if supervisors were lack of the virtues of being easy going , they wouldnot deserve to be considered as a good supervisor. Someone may agrue that some skills, such as time management, advancing planations and so on, are more important to managers in terms of their leadship in corporation, in which, profits are valued more. However, my contention about such speaker and reasons for my points embrace the increasing efficience beacuse of nontense evironment , the profis coming from good communication and other aspects.
First of all, easy going excutives always bring a good working environment and employees would like to improve their efficience during the working time. According a research among 300 persons, more than 200 hundred people think an easygoing manager highly and nearly 90% of all agree that it is some details ,including chatting with leaders no more than 1 minutes or receiving a message with a friendly end like "hope you would like to do so", that relax themselves; consequently, they find themselves work with big pleasure. I suggest such survey is very valuable to consider which qualities are necessary. Obvously, only when employees are pleased to communitcated with each others including their supervisors, would increase the profits. In short, high efficience attributes to free communication among all worker mates, and such free communication attributes to easy going managers.
Further more, being easy going is very important not only to communicate with workmates, but also with other managers in different coporations. Few people would like to depute that the success in agreeable contract depends on how both sides exchanges their opinions and come to a agreement. For example, during processes of contradictions, Xiaowang, represents their president as a supervisor, come acorss Xiao Li , who is also sent to negotiate with him. As both men are very easy going persons, the agreements are formed in no more than two days, which earn a high repute in both companies. One word, such instance indicates that easy going excutives often contribute the profits when coporations plan to cooporate with other firms.
At the same time, I concede that some skills play roles in leaderships. For example, a adept supervisor can give workers more about working experience and a skilled worker will develop new stuffs’ abilities fast, how ever, lacking of the character of being easy going, it is difficult to ensure all the useful and necessary skills are kept from generation to genration.
Finally, when it come to the qulities of supervisors, the virtue of being easy going is the most valuable,  because it is relating to the free communication among workmates and good communication with other excutives outside corporation, which contribute the profits coming from high effinence and more cooperations.
 
Word检查
 

What is the important merits for an excutiveexecutive? Everyone is entitled on his own opinion. On my stance, if supervisors were lack of the virtues of being easy going , they wouldnotwould not deserve to be considered as a good supervisor. Someone may agrue that some skills, such as time management, advancing planationsplantations and so on, are more important to managers in terms of their leadership in corporation, in which, profits are valued more. However, my contention about such speaker and reasons for my points embrace the increasing efficienceefficiency beacuse of nontense evironment , the profisprofits coming from good communication and other aspects.

 

First of all, easy going excutivesexecutives always bring a good working environment and employees would like to improve their efficienceefficiency during the working time. According a research among 300 persons, more than 200 hundred people think an easygoing manager highly and nearly 90% of all agree that it is some details ,including chatting with leaders no more than 1 minutes or receiving a message with a friendly end like "hope you would like to do so", that relax themselves; consequently, they find themselves work with big pleasure. I suggest such survey is very valuable to consider which qualities are necessary. ObvouslyObviously, only when employees are pleased to communitcatedcommunicated with each others including their supervisors, would increase the profits. In short, high efficienceefficiency attributes to free communication among all worker mates, and such free communication attributes to easy going managers.

 

Further more, being easy going is very important not only to communicate with workmates, but also with other managers in different coporationscorporations. Few people would like to depute that the success in agreeable contract depends on how both sidessides’ exchanges their opinions and come to a agreement. For example, during processes of contradictions, Xiaowang, represents their president as a supervisor, come acorssacross Xiao Li , who is also sent to negotiate with him. As both men are very easy going persons, the agreements are formed in no more than two days, which earn a high repute in both companies. One word, such instance indicates that easy going excutivesexecutives often contribute the profits when coporationscorporations plan to cooporatecooperate with other firms.

 

At the same time, I concede that some skills play roles in leaderships. For example, a adept supervisor can give workers more about working experience and a skilled worker will develop new stuffs’ abilities fast, however, lacking of the character of being easy going, it is difficult to ensure all the useful and necessary skills are kept from generation to genrationgeneration.

 

Finally, when it come to the qulitiesqualities of supervisors, the virtue of being easy going is the most valuable,  because it is relating to the free communication among workmates and good communication with other excutivesexecutives outside corporation, which contribute the profits coming from high effinence efficiency and more cooperationscooperation.

10/20/08

托福作文第二练

You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live . What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.
 
记事本原稿:
 
Being required to improve our community in certain ways, someones such as  SB, a student in middle school, prefer to take a tend for disabilities every weekend, including purchasing vegetables, collecting some paper like <Easy Knowing>, and so on;Alternatively, LW, SB’s grandfather who has abdicted 1 years ago, would like to invite doctors to hold a lecture concerning to healthy at times. However, I planned to hold a party called "book show" monthly. A large number of books, whose subjects cover healthy, sports, novels and so on,  can be taken away and returned back next week with sepecfic recordings.
 
Firstly, on my stance, basic to enjoing leisure time is knowing unknowing. For example,  LW can know methods with which he successfully prevent himselft from a possible cold after a 3-day’s rain; SB have found a new way in which the complex  mathmetics problem are easy to be solved with 3 steps less; I would learn to how to manage so many books and get a gerenal idea about every subject even I haven’t known it before such as biology , geography and sports , in that I can introduce books for the residents, and what I have done, I think,  would  increase my knowledge. In short,  all can get knowledge from that party and everyone can know unknowing from books.
 
Secondly, when it coming to a budget with less costs , what I choose to do can’t be more approriate and more important. One one hand, the cost of books cost nothing but my collections, the number of which is  300 and it is enough for all 20 residents in my community. On the other hand, either borrowing books nor returning them requires just a little room and Room 202 is the very choic in terms of lacking of attentions, as a consequence, the cost of renting decreases down to nearly 0 except for paying for electric.
 
Finally, I support that it is very important to help disablities and  deliver some professional lectures , otherwise we can also study the specific methods and useful skills related to serving disablities  and knowing which illness, flues, headaches, or others ,  need an immediated lectures worthy up to 50 dollars for once.
 
In conclusion, knowing unkowning improve the knowledge level of my community  ,moreover,  it cost less but values more. At first ,maybe holding such a party is really matters nothing, howbeit, it communicates volumes, whether we concede or not , because the same "book show " in LIUMING’s community has receive warmly welcome by its residents. Consequently, I would like to hold the party and believe in its potential power.
 
Word语法修订:
 

Being required to improve our community in certain ways, someonessome ones such as  SB, a student in middle school, prefer to take a tend for disabilities every weekend, including purchasing vegetables, collecting some paper like <Easy Knowing>, and so on; Alternatively, LW, SB’s grandfather who has abdictedabdicated 1 years ago, would like to invite doctors to hold a lecture concerning to healthy at times. However, I planned to hold a party called "book show" monthly. A large number of books, whose subjects cover healthy, sports, novels and so on,  can be taken away and returned back next week with sepecficspecific recordings.

 

Firstly, on my stance, basic to enjoying leisure time is knowing unknowing. For example,  LW can know methods with which he successfully prevent himselfthimself from a possible cold after a 3-day’s rain; SB have found a new way in which the complex  mathmeticsmathematics problem are easy to be solved with 3 steps less; I would learn to how to manage so many books and get a gerenalgeneral idea about every subject even I haven’t known it before such as biology , geography and sports , in that I can introduce books for the residents, and what I have done, I think,  would  increase my knowledge. In short,  all can get knowledge from that party and everyone can know unknowing from books.

 

Secondly, when it coming to a budget with less costs , what I choose to do can’t be more approriateappropriate and more important. One one hand, the cost of books cost nothing but my collections, the number of which is  300 and it is enough for all 20 residents in my community. On the other hand, either borrowing books nor returning them requires just a little room and Room 202 is the very choicchoice in terms of lacking of attentions, as a consequence, the cost of renting decreases down to nearly 0 except for paying for electric.

 

Finally, I support that it is very important to help disablitiesdisabilities and  deliver some professional lectures , otherwise we can also study the specific methods and useful skills related to serving disablitiesdisabilities  and knowing which illness, flues, headaches, or others ,  need an immediatedimmediate lectures worthy up to 50 dollars for once.

 

In conclusion, knowing unkowningunknowing improve the knowledge level of my community  ,moreover,  it cost less but values more. At first ,maybe holding such a party is really matters nothing, howbeit, it communicates volumes, whether we concede or not , because the same "book show " in LIUMING’s community has receive warmly welcome by its residents. Consequently, I would like to hold the party and believe in its potential power.

 
 

10/20/08

再回首已百年身——托福作文第一练

It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in you neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan ? Why ? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
 
记事本初稿:
According to the announcement, which indicate that a restraunt is planed to be located beside my house, all the changes of possibility have been discussed by residents in my communication more than ever.For one thing, some women, including Mrs Wang ,my classmate’s mother, hold the opinion that such plan would contribute to children’s study  because of there would be less noise, for another, however,  a few people such as Mr Li and Mr Wang, both of whom are working in a factory, think they can’t stand the noise if too much people go out for supper. Considering a few factors such as what it is ready to sold  and how long  it plans to being open everyday, I think it is more important to be convince, and I would like to see the restraunt in a short time.
 
Firstly, such project would is helpful for my health. Because A big restraunt beside my house means  the breakfast would be sold just 5 meters away, as a consequence ,I can stay in my bed for 10 minutes longer instead of having breakfast after a 2 kilometers’ walk. What the previous 10 minutes is very important for my health in terms of heavy study. Moreover, the evidence embrace Xiaowang’s energic after a restraunt sets up beside his home. It obviously that the building would receive warm welcome.
 
Secondly, the construction would bring more opptunities for my community and such chances would turn out my advancing in study. As a matter of fact,  the designers should employ workers for their designation, and the local younger seeking job are the very choices because of average salary requirments , which is nearly 50 dollars lower than other places. Moreover, it is  a good news that means there would be 10 less persons wandering around my house and I would study in a quiet environment. After all , quiet evironment is neccesary for thinking my subjects like Mathmatics  .
 
Finally, I think what Mr wang and Mr li should also be considered by government , they are longing for rest quietly for a night as they have finished a 10-hour’s work. However, such problems , I think , can be solved very easily, and it may destruct nothing.
 
All in all, I think the restraunt means my healthy because of breakfast supported,  more opportuninties because of worker employment and improvement of study because less noise. At the same time, if it is constructed by several mean like 0.5 mm  thicker wall  considering prevent the noise from disturbing us , the big restraunt would receive warm welcome. 
 
 
Word语法拼写查错:
 

According to the announcement, which indicate that a restrauntrestaurant  is planedplanned to be located beside my house, all the changes of possibility have been discussed by residents in my communication more than ever. For one thing, some women, including MrsMrs. Wang ,my classmate’s mother, hold the opinion that such plan would contribute to children’s study  because of there would be less noise, for another, however,  a few people such as MrMr. Li and MrMr. Wang, both of whom are working in a factory, think they can’t stand the noise if too much people go out for supper. Considering a few factors such as what it is ready to sold  and how long  it plans to being open everydayevery day, I think it is more important to be convince, and I would like to see the restrauntrestaurant in a short time.

 

Firstly, such project would is helpful for my health. Because A big restrauntrestaurant beside my house means  the breakfast would be sold just 5 meters away, as a consequence ,I can stay in my bed for 10 minutes longer instead of having breakfast after a 2 kilometers’ walk. What the previous 10 minutes is very important for my health in terms of heavy study. Moreover, the evidence embrace Xiaowang’s energicenergy after a restrauntrestraint sets up beside his home. It obviously that the building would receive warm welcome.

 

Secondly, the construction would bring more opptunities opportunities for my community and such chances would turn out my advancing in study. As a matter of fact,  the designers should employ workers for their designation, and the local younger seeking job are the very choices because of average salary requirmentsrequirements , which is nearly 50 dollars lower than other places. Moreover, it is  a good news that means there would be 10 less persons wandering around my house and I would study in a quiet environment. After all , quiet evironmentenvironment is neccesarynecessary for thinking my subjects like MathmaticsMathematics  .

 

Finally, I think what MrMr. wang and MrMr. li should also be considered by government , they are longing for rest quietly for a night as they have finished a 10-hour’s work. However, such problems , I think , can be solved very easily, and it may destruct nothing.

 

All in all, I think the restrauntrestaurant means my healthy because of breakfast supported,  more opportunintiesopportunities because of worker employment and improvement of study because less noise. At the same time, if it is constructed by several mean like 0.5 mm  thicker wall  considering prevent the noise from disturbing us , the big restrauntrestaurant would receive warm welcome. 

10/20/08

尘埃落定

尘埃落定。
我是指6G以后手忙脚乱的日子,将近三周,没有在4点以前睡过觉,所有的大作业都在最后一刻人品爆发地完成。
我是指20天的忙忙碌碌,VPF,Java,电子政务,知识管理,组织行为学,居然所有的课都有大作业,在一篇篇的外国文献里翻Group Polarization的主题,然后得到老师满篇京味儿的答复,极度无语中。
我是指近三周的颠狂兼无敌状态,今天早上起来的时候,很痛苦地发现手机电脑被我在梦中拔下来扔在了地上,开机,8点10,以及老师的那条短信:速到2221考试,镇定地回拨过去,说十分钟到。然后就是瘦身后“处奔”的代价飞了过去,在大汗淋漓兼没有冲澡的情况下为某公司的设计知识管理的方案;
考完回来发现一封邮件在188的邮箱里——顺便鄙视网易这垃圾,这两天居然由于移动网关把手机关联取消了,so,头天晚上的邮件,居然没有通知——“你没有参加中期考试,成绩将有很大影响”,然后晕倒中,忙回拨,所幸老师比较好,说直接把我的名字删掉好了,这样就相当于没有修过这课,成绩单上也没有,阿弥陀佛,诸天神佛佑我中……;
下午去太傻做留学的咨询,发现居然价格比12月份涨了一万五,现在要四万五了,MM好心给了我一张1000的优惠券,我心里开始盘算要不要和他们合作过,不过杜MM还是很Nice的说,临走送了橘宝书,太傻十日谈——低着头往地铁走,然后我就在外交部门口很傻*地被一帮外国记者用摄像头瞄着,反映过来的时候,虽然知道肯定不是拍我,但还是觉得很糗,头上是外交部的牌子,我提着一个印了“太傻”Logo的袋子,然后从一排摄像机前走过,这画面怎么看怎么像大型情景喜剧……
转公车下去的时候,从两MM中间挤过去,有点贴身的感觉,然后就的到左边MM问右边的:你有没有脸红啊?汗死~~~~~声音能小点儿么……
探望了猥琐在床上一天的KK,并幻想了他往来京津运钱的情形;
这些的忙终于结束了,明天开始为8T做准备,希望春天会有好结果。
抽空去看了一个叫做小维的在重庆念书的毕业生的博客,好像是不久前知道的,兴许算不上认识吧?
似乎很喜欢类似他写的那些文字,落落日光的流水般记载,有着我所没有的坚持和平淡——多年后,这将是无比的财富。
尘埃落定,拍拍灰,大步向前……
10/20/08

存照

公元二00八年六月七日,戊子年五月初四。
尘埃飞扬,将行。
誓若折戟,磨刀整装直待十月。
无论如何,我已付出很多。
无论如何,我还要付出很多。
无论如何,我付出的总有一天要十倍地被回报。
无论如何,这已是一场恶战,血流成河也好,快意恩仇也罢,只是不会有缴械投降!
God bless all, we would be  luky dogs in either 6G or 10G.
 
10/20/08

The Advent of GRE in Jun 2008

TEST: GRE

8:30 a.m.  Paper-Based Session of Split General Test

DATE: June 7, 2008

CENTER NUMBER & ADDRESS  

CENTER NO: 10605

CAPITAL NORMAL UNIVERSITY

ADMISSIONS OFFICE

BEIJING CAPITAL NORMAL UNIVERSITY

105 N. XISANHUAN RD

BEIJING  PRC

 

突如其来的GRE——九个月前我报名的时候这么说过。现在也一样。
昨天晚上决定十月再考一次,无论如何,现在感觉已经有了,照此下去,10月拿到1400应该没有太大的问题。打电话回家给爸妈,爸爸疼惜觉得太累——

6.7,北京,GRE笔试;

6.15,北京,数据库大作业;

6.16——6.28,北京,期末考试;

7.1-7.15,北京,新东方,TOEFL强化班;

8.24,重庆川外,TOEFL;

9.1-9.21,北京,实习;

9.15,北京鼎钧,GRE AW test;

10.25,北京,GRE笔试……

还有PS,推荐信,圣诞节前要快递出去的材料——2008年,我渴望在这样的奔波里再次涅槃。


已经忘记了多少次看到熟悉的单词却张口说不出意思,已经忘记了多少次翻开红宝的时候发现某个词的解释并不合适,已经忘记了多少次打开字根词典的时候对一些单词的意思来源恍然大悟,也已经忘了多少次迷失在26个字母的随机组合中……最初的盲目坚定,已经在慢慢消解,而剩下的只能凭借说服自我的坚持。
一直在想,大学四年里,我褪下了中学的光环,慢慢隐没,偶尔偏执异常,大一下与大二上,花了一年的时间和两千多的钱读了那年我所能见到的绝大部分的有深度的报纸和杂志;而此前的大一上,在不同的声音和教导中迷茫地过着大学生活——怀念故往,独自行走;大二的下和大三上,我终于渐渐明白,有些人们热逐的东西并不适合我——比如我花了一个月的时间在烈日或者暴雨中服务的公司,有些我所擅长的东西并不能总是见效——比如我在管理学科的课堂上曾自以为豪的信口道来,广为联系。
2008年的冬天,在新东方魏公村的GRE班里,我听着五位老师的讲授,关于英语,关于前程,关于人生,关于他们自己的和他们听说的故事,受益匪浅。——有些人是值得一生尊重和感恩的,因为言者无心,听者有意,而言语中间,冷暖自知。
我并不是一个可以没有理由地做一件事的人,所以当我发现红宝的麻烦和困难之后,毅然决定搁置它。从《英语词汇系统简论》这样的假说一直到刘毅的字根词典,我重新经历了一次英语发展的历程,所有的前缀、后缀、词根都是如此有来历以至于我再也难以嘲笑英语的历史不如汉语渊源流长,此后对于单词的学习和认知,我以为,是对一切人类文明发展史的适合的尊重!
6.1之间,总结了前面读过的书,并把红宝里的每个单词配着字根词典看了一遍,然后就发现感觉就已经有了,只要愿意,可以一天之内过一次红宝了,当然,如果再配上字根词典,要慢一些。只是这感觉对于6G来说似乎有一些晚,于是转向10G。

 

没有回小C的短信。
今天看到他在线上,仍然没有理睬。
我都惊讶于自己的麻木——或许真的是忙得已然不知疼痛?

 

还有不到48个小时了就要考6G了,突然想起2月分G班的最后一堂阅读课后,刘建中老师引的梁实秋先生的那句话:


这一次你走,我不去送你。下一次你回来的时候,无论是风是雨,我都去接你。